1 shot, a glass of wine, another shot, tequila, vodka, beerzh, shotzzzz, jkdafhodiadf….


Award shows have this weird dynamic where they make us feel like we should watch them but simultaneously bore the daylights out of us. When you’re into music, your curiosity about who will be honored for the past year is strong enough to make you tune into the GRAMMYs. But five minutes in, you’ve got one eye on Instagram and you’re realizing that most of the music you actually listen to isn’t exactly well represented in the award show circuit. You have to keep watching, though, because there is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, going to be some ridiculous shenanigans from the Cyrus/Bieber/Perry/Gaga/Beyonce set that everyone will be talking about around the water cooler. Fear not, there’s a way to make it fun. Naturally, this way involves alcohol. And your friends. Want to see everyone get really interested in the GRAMMYs really fast? Make it a drinking game.


LL Cool J is hosting, because he is the most relevant person the GRAMMYs could find (what?). If he self-referencess has-beens or still-totally-interesting people, like name-drops, tells an anecdote or mentions one of his hits, you’re all taking a shot. If anyone can rap “Going Back to Cali” in its entirety, they can pick anyone they want to make do another shot. Or if he licks his lips.


Every time anyone says “selfie,” “twerk,” or “hashtag,” everyone has to drink. Everyone, because everyone has to own up to being a part of this generation.


During Katy Perry’s performance, see who can make the most original hat, bra or accessory of choice from a snack food, a la the infamous donut bra. Whoever’s accessory falls victim to gravity or someone’s appetite drinks.


Metallica’s performing. There will be a lot of shots to the reactions in the audience, and a lot of these audience members will be pop tarts. For every shot of a confused/bored/irritated youngster, take a shot. To spice things up, have your own air guitar tournament: loser chugs a beer.


Robin Thicke is performing with Chicago. That’s weird. Go around in a circle and name odd couple duets you think would be epic, like Stevie Nicks and Lil Wayne, Miley Cyrus and Tony Bennet, Justin Bieber and Yngwie Malmsteen. The first person to draw a blank drinks.



“Just Give Me A Reason”

Pink and Nate Ruess of Fun. are doing their song “Just Give Me A Reason.” This song is every bit as catchy as it is awful. It’s going to be stuck in all of your heads. The first person to get caught singing or humming it out loud after the performance has to wear the dunce cap/Burger King crown/newspaper hat of your choice, and will have to drink whenever anyone punches them on the shoulder.


Taylor Swift is obviously performing, you knew you couldn’t escape. Her latest rumored dalliance is Jared Leto, which is no doubt infuriating for all of us cooler, more mature ladies who could see the logic of her being with Harry Styles — she cannot have Jordan Catalano (also, we love her). Whoever can’t name one of Taylor’s former beaus has to drink. Bonus points for those who will stay up late for the Twitter updates from the after-parties: whoever can guess who her next reported hook-up will get to make up a rule for the rest of the night’s drinking (like any time you say “Merle Haggard!” everyone has to drop to the ground and do three push-ups).


If you’re looking to have an out-of-control, OMG-Pete-Doherty-and-Nikki-Sixx-crashed-our-frat-party kind of night, make everyone take a shot any time the camera cuts to Jay Z and/or Beyonce. But don’t come blaming us for your hangover.

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