Our guide to coping with the underwhelming HBO season finale of True Detective after it’s un-dramatic ending. And, why Matthew McConaughey IS Justin Bieber.

Matthew McConaughey True Detective quotes

So, True Detective came to a (disappointing) end last night and while we’re not in the business of spoilers — especially for those of you who, let’s face it, hijack HBO GO from your trust-fund-baby co-worker and suffered the global HBO GO blackout last night — we did embark on some true detective work of our own.

Academy Award winner Matthew McConaughey (who haplessly  missed out on the Oscar for his inspiring work in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Failure to Launch and Magic Mike, but finally got a look in for Dallas Buyers Club) bears a striking resemblance to Justin Bieber.

Behold The McConabeibs.

Mathew-McConaughey with Justin Beiber's hair

Evidence Mathew McConaughey IS Justin Bieber:

    1. They both see galaxies, appear from nowhere.*
    2. They’re both good boys gone bad.
    3. See above image.
    4. Watch below video.

Biebs being McConaughey

While most gasps and shrieks during last night’s finale were directed at the laptops of HBO GO “borrowers” and not the firework ending — if there’s still a “Cohle” shaped hole in your weekly TV watching schedule, here’s some extra-curricular activities to keep you occupied.

1. Learn the shocking truth about what was on the tape in True Detective.

 

The Truth About Cohle

2. See why Matthew McConaughey would NOT have won the Oscar, had the Academy seen the final episode of True Detective.

 

The Oscars Parody

3. Schedule a boob job à la Alexandra Daddario and obtain a set of handcuffs. (Oh, and take a look at some Alexandra Daddario streetstyle during fashion week in SHK N4 here. SPOTTED.)

Alexandra Daddario from True Detective boobs

Woody Harrelson True Detective fuckin' problem quote

4. Read up on the real “Carcosa” – and perhaps take a trip there. Don’t forget to pack your antlers, and stop in for a free tramp stamp (only one design offered).

True Detective tattoo

True Detective Carcosa

 *speculation about Justin Bieber seeing galaxies is unverified, but most likely true.

Comments

comments