“I’m just a girl in love with a boy, who doesn’t notice me… until my beer is empty” 

We’re KEEPING TABS  on where to find the cute bartender, so you can casually show up every so often  to all their shifts.

“Yeah, uh huh, Yeah, yeah” – T PAIN

Bartender Music Video

The most toxic crush of all is with that of a cute bartender. a) they make you go out too often b) they keep you up late c) they make you drink way more than you should and at the end of the night, when you’re the last one standing at the bar… well they have to kick you out while they count the money. That’s if you’re even still functioning through your alcohol intoxication.

drunk-girl

In the game of courting the bartender, tolerance is key; a strong stomach (for alcohol) and a solid elbow for fending off other enamored patrons—and you don’t want to piss of the bartender by ordering the wrong drink ’cause he/she is DEFINITELY  judging you.

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“Everybody jockin’ me as soon as I stepped in the spot. 200 Bitchs and I’m bettin’ ain’t none of them hot. ‘Cept for this pretty young thang that was workin’ all the way at the top…Shawty, what is your name?” – T PAIN

We could recommend turning away from the bar, putting down your drink and focusing your lusting eyes on one of the less sought after drunker night owls but hey we’re gluttons for punishment (and booze). That’s why we’ve started compiling an easy-to-stalk guide of the coolest bartenders we’ve encountered—we’ll just call it KEEPING TABS. Feel free to nominate yours in the comments. Bottoms up.

drink up bitches cute bartender

“Ooh, she made us drinks to drink, we drunk ’em, got drunk. And then I think she thinks I’m cool. She gave me a wink, I winked back. And then I think that we hit it off, something proper like” – T PAIN

LIZY RYAN, Black and White (86 E10th between 3rd & 4th Ave’s), Mondays & Fridays at 10PM – 4AM.

cute bartender lizy ryan black and white nyc

“I like the bartender (Ooh, if you’re lookin’ for me) I’m at the bar with her (Ooh, uh huh, okay)” – T PAIN

Conversation starters: When babetown Lizy Ryan aint getting you liquored up she is doing vocals and Keyboards for POPE + Rumors, or perched at a bar elsewhere sharing pizzas, bitching, listening to Hip Hop jams and drinking beers from frozen mugs at Lil Frankie’s (19 1st Ave, NYC). Name drop Gardens & Villa new album “Dunes” if you wanna show off your music cred  “It’s incredibly sexy. Make ya wanna gyrate.” Lizy’s own favorite bartender slings at Big Bar (75 E7th between 1st & 2nd Ave) “Brian will school you on all sorts of music from all over the world from any decade. Its perfect.”

“The best hangover cure? sex, cold fried chicken, & strawberry Nesquik” – Lizy Ryan

DREW TAH, BLK MKT, Sundays, Mondays & Wednesdays at 5PM — 2AM. 

cute bartender drewtah black market

“duuuuuuddddeeee” – Drew Tah
Conversation starters: If you’re lucky enough to even get a seat at the bar ask Drew about his tattoos, for his Snapchat name,  if he is a basketball player about Utah or his band Shakes or something. He’ll be drinking through his hangover.

x Nominate your cute bartender in the comments x 

RELATED: What your drink order says about you

[featured image photographed by NICK CEGLIA, other images sourced from The Bar Crafters, Lower East Dry Goods, Sincerely Yours &  T-shirt Giant)

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