i. It’s really successful and expected to gross a total of $9.1 billion dollars by 2016.
ii. It will pick you up without any lame lines.
iii. Let’s be honest… it’s really hot.
iv. There are tons of varieties, but you get to choose the beans that fit you best.
v. It’s always there in the morning.
vi. You can turn it on by simply pushing a button.
vii. It makes you crazy, but in a good, productive way.
viii. It’s always there for you when your day seems to be dragging.
ix. It smells nice.
x. Your friends will totally be into hanging out with it (the appropriate amount).
xi. You’ll always be able to have long, meaningful conversations while Joe sits patiently waiting.
xii. Your parents will love it, even though they will shrug if you consume too much at night.
xiii. It doesn’t mind if you have one too many cocktails, in fact, it will add pep to any hangover.
xiv. It will actually help you win Scrabble instead of beating you.
xv. If you make a mistake, you can just pour out your problems and start over. No hard feelings.

—  Rachel Eleanor Sutton