Ahh the Jersey Shore… everyone’s favorite place to hate. Why not revel in its insanity with a Jersey Shore themed party?

I don’t know about you, but I think the idea of a Jersey Shore themed party is pretty fantastic. I mean, it’s like Halloween, but in spring! There’s (orange) face paint, slutty costumes, hair spray, alcohol, lots of alcohol, weird foods, and you get to look a little scary. So if you can’t make it down to one of America’s finest beaches this memorial day, bring a bit of Jersey to your hood. And best of all, I’ve made it simple with this party guide.

Where:

If your parents’ basement isn’t readily available, and if you can’t fit a beer pong table in your tiny-ass apartment, then any club with blue neon lights, fist-pumpin music, and whip-cream flavored vodka will do just fine. But if you don’t wanna necessarily be seen in public in your Jersey get up (I feel ya), then keep reading for some tips to make your apartment better than any night on the shore (well, minus the hot tub).

How To Orange:

Being orange is the most necessary accessory.While this sounds like a huge commitment/terrible for your health, don’t worry, I have suggestions. Simply buying (or borrowing) foundation that’s a few shades too dark and too “olive” will give you that perfect caked on look. Cheap-o spray on tans or tanning lotion that you can buy at the drug store also will prove effective and easy (I think). You could also use some orange tempera paint and go all out, but if there is a hot tub at the end of the night, you might wanna think twice.

Ed Hardy Is Your BFF:

Gents, dressing the part is easy. Loudest Ed Hardy tee you can find, pencil some abs on your stomach, spike up that hair and you are good to go. Ladies, if a skin-tight leopard print mini dress isn’t readily accessible, grab whatever is closest: tube top, hot pink, low cut, skin tight tank, anything ass hugging, and heels. Skinny, tall, painful heels. Rhinestones everywhere, big ones at that, black eyeliner, shiny cheeks, straightened hair with a nice big pouf (second most critical accessory).

What to do:

So now you’re all dressed up and ready to rage. In order to effectively party Jersey Shore style, please find our Jersey Shore playlist and fist pump like you have invisible Sock Em Boppers on your arms. Hopefully you and everyone will have heavily pre-gamed, but if someone didn’t, turn them away at the door. Unacceptable. If you do decide to be forgiving, make sure there’s plenty of Ron Ron Juice so these slackers can catch up. Eat some JWoww approved ham and keep all good Italian staples handy for drunk munching.

Ron Ron Juice Recipe:

Real watermelon
Cherries
Cranberry juice
Copious Stolichnaya Vodka
Ice

Eyeball ingredients for maximum drunkenness and tastiness. Blend well. Consume liberally.

lifestyle jersey shore party over

x More Jersey Shore goodness + playlist x

[images sourced from MTV Jersey Shore and Giphy]

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