I’ve spent days, hours and minutes counseling friends who spend way too much time crying over being single. If I could get paid for every minute I’ve had this conversation I’d be filthy rich. I’ve done it so many times I feel that I’ve become a magnet for the needy, “I hate my life,” singles. Then one day I realized I’m single too, but I’m ok with it. Ladies, it’s ok to be single.

 “And in the end were all just humans… drunk on the idea that love, only love can heal our brokenness.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald

I’ve been single for some time now, and I won’t lie and say that it’s never affected me. I spent nights crying, wanting to throwing the remote at the T.V when that perfect couple comes on the screen. I’ve even scoffed at couples in public out of pure jealousy. Then I realized that one of the reasons I’m probably single is I don’t have enough love for myself. That’s the first step in a successful relationship. Being happy with who you are…even if that means you’re alone.

At a certain age, single people are viewed as lacking in some way. Society clearly doesn’t understand single people. Society paints us as inadequate and wants to hide us, only to bring us out at events where we could potentially meet a significant other. Love and relationship is the basis for just about every movie and song out there.

There are still points where it’s hard even if you love yourself. Social media outlets, like Facebook, are hard to go on around mid-spring early summer. You know, wedding season. It’s overflowing with engagement rings, wedding dresses and sonogram shots.

love the skin your in

You get to watch everyone you grew up with settle down. You hear your married friends saying, “I can’t wait to have babies,” and you begin to wonder if you will ever meet someone and be able to experience that feeling of wanting to procreate with that special person. You begin to think you’re not good enough for someone and that you must suck. You’re going to die alone! But alas! You don’t suck, and you won’t die alone. You just don’t settle. You love yourself enough to wait for someone who takes your breath away. You know, a person that can stare into your eyes and captures your heart and soul. You just haven’t met that person yet, but you will.

Being single at 12 is socially acceptable, but as soon as you hit 16, the pressure is on. Forever. People notice. Trust me. Grandma’s constantly calls and asks if she’s ever going to be a great-grandmother. Love is beautiful, and shit, I believe in it, but being in love and being in a relationship is not the same thing. Being in a relationship and being complete is not the same thing. Being single and being lonely is definitely not the same thing.


cute couple in love

It’s my belief that being single in your adult years is a gift to yourself. It gives you that opportunity to really begin to know and understand yourself. If you don’t embrace this opportunity you run the risk of ruining love once it does come into your life because you didn’t learn to love yourself or find out who you truly are. Like I said, soul searching is the first step to a successful relationship.

You also must remember that while in a relationship or in love, you are still an individual. That doesn’t go away. So you, as an individual, need to be strong and happy with yourself because honestly we all know a guy can break your heart tomorrow. So question yourself. Are you a part of something or an individual? Answer this to figure out if you are really ready to commit yourself to another being.

girl walking in the field

Like I said, I’ve been a fucking jealous and judgmental bitch at points, but society is judging us single women too. That needs to stop. It’s ok to be single. If someone is single it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with that person, as in they have commitment issues or that they’re bat-shit crazy.

At the end of the day, though, everybody wants to feel love. Everybody, but real love isn’t as common as you think. You can’t order it off Ebay or honestly believe you’ll find it on Tinder or one of the other DTF sites. You can’t buy it at the mall. Just know that it’s something you can’t search for. It will always hit you when you least expect it, at the most inconvenient time. It never waits around either. You have to fight for it.

girl reading a book on bed

If you are single and society is making you feel crappy about it, remind yourself that you are enough. Why? Because you love yourself dammit and you know better than to search for it or settle for some douche bag just because your friends are doing it. You’re beautiful. You will have your dream wedding with mason jars and delicate flowers surrounding you and your loved ones. You will meet someone who takes your mind to far away places you just have to wait for it.

So singletons (and non-singletons), I encourage you to fall in love and fall fucking hard, but, do yourself a favor and don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first. Hell, you’ll most likely miss is once you’re hitched!

So, now that you know it’s ok to be single, check out this article x

[images sourced via: Dis411Funny PicturesCNNTumblr]